widow story

I Licorice You

24 Sep 2014Dates, Fitness0 comments

The beans were finally spilled. Both Steve and I could heave a sigh of relief! We didn’t have to keep things a secret any longer.

I finally felt like I could move forward to some degree in our relationship.

 

Valentine’s Day was approaching, so I figured I should get Steve some sort of card. I needed a card that communicated how important he was to me, without totally spilling my guts to him.

As you know, he had already told me that he loved me, and you guessed it, I still hadn’t told him.

There were times when Steve would tell me that he loved me, and I almost threw it out there that I loved him too.

One time I even started the sentence, “Steve I… (Oh my gosh, am I really going to say this?) I…l—ic oa yoo.”

“Ha ha, what did you say?” he prodded.

“Oh nothing!”

“Did you just say you licorice me?” he chuckled.

“No, of course I didn’t.”

 

It was as if the words I love you would bubble up like a pot ready to boil over, and then suddenly the words wouldn’t come. The heat was turned down and I had nothing to say.

He didn’t pressure me about the fact that I didn’t actually say it, but rather continued to tell me that he loved me and was patient. He knew I would tell him when I was ready.

 

 

One thing I’ve learned from my mom through the years is the art of showing people how much you care about them and how to make people feel special.

For Valentine’s Day I thought I’d get crafty and leave Steve a display of my “care” for him.

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I had been working on a surprise during some of my free time at school. I used the die cut machine to cut out hearts and letters that read “Happy Valentine’s Day” so I could hang it on the mirror in his bathroom. I figured I wasn’t telling him “I love you” just yet, but he needed to know I thought he was wonderful. I also put a hand written note “Happy Valentine’s Day! I Licorice you,” on a heart. I knew he’d get my point.

While he was sleeping, I snuck over to his house and taped up my beautiful masterpiece so my message could be read as he looked in the mirror. I was so excited, but nervous. I thought for sure that every pull and tear of the scotch tape was going to wake him up for sure. Things always seem louder when you’re trying to be sneaky about it.

I pulled it off. Operation Valentine was complete. He was sound asleep and I managed to escape without being noticed.

 

 

Steve had made dinner plans for the two of us so we could enjoy some quality time together. I loved our quality time. We would laugh and joke about everything and have in-depth conversations as well.

Gosh, he was so good at making me feel special. Through no prompting of my own, he signed us up to do “Couples Yoga.” A special Valentine’s Day yoga session, doing poses with my sweetheart.

 

Us two meatheads were going to give this yoga thing a go.

These poses were hilarious. As a meathead, you always try to muscle your way through things and if something is hard, you grin and bear it.

Not only did we have to figure out how to maintaing stability  in these poses individually, but we also had to work together as one cohesive unit. If either of us tried to do something on our own, our whole pose would be thrown off and we’d fall over.

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Although it may seem like a silly exercise, trying something adventurous together that day was good because it challenged our communication. We came up with a game plan and then gave it a shot.

 

Often times in relationships we assume that what we are thinking is obvious. Maybe you are in a current situation of frustration simply because there was a lack of communication.

 

 

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” -George Bernard Shaw

 

 

 

 

One challenge for you today is to reflect on the communication in your relationships. Are you holding a grudge or letting a miscommunication negatively impact your relationships?If so, clarify your feelings with that person. Try to explain your thought or idea using different language and if you feel as though you have been misunderstood, clarify what you meant. Sometimes using an analogy helps to refine what you were trying to say.

 

I also want to challenge you to go the extra mile to show the people you care about that you love them. Whether it is a love text, a phone call, or voluntarily doing an activity that they love, you can always brighten someone’s day by showing love.

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Fitness, a Shared Passion

29 Mar 2014Uncategorized2 comments

I actually found the date that I joined Life Time, which was March 11, 2010. So somewhere around that time was when I first met Steve.

Through the course of preparing for figure competitions I met several people. Each person I met who had some experience in the world of bodybuilding or figure competitions always had an opinion about training for a show.  I found that talking to different people only seemed to add more confusion to what I knew and was starting to make me second guess my training.

Figure, like other sports, involves rigorous training. I have the body type that is stubborn and likes to hang on to anything and everything I eat, whereas, some people have been blessed with the natural ability to be lean. This meant that my training involved lifting four days a week and eventually cardio twice a day.

What people don’t realize about figure is that each and every training session matters. You can’t skip a workout because you don’t feel like it or because you have something else going on.  The planning involves calculating things down to the day so that your body “peaks” at the right time.  By peak, I mean that you’re lean but not overly vascular and your muscles are full and aesthetically pleasing.

Every single piece of food you put into your body matters and is accounted for. I knew the exactly amount of fats, carbohydrates, protein and water I was consuming. Tracking all of these elements is important to what your “end product” will look like.

I was an athlete in college. There’s no doubt that all of your practices are important and your ability to perform is a summation of those efforts. Figure is different because each tiny detail in the whole process is important. If you mess up your diet, it affects your product. If you mess up your training, muscles aren’t developed enough or in time. If you don’t know how to pose, then you’re not showcasing your product at it’s best. If you don’t have confidence on stage, it’s obvious.

My show schedule at the time was going to be to compete in the Gopher State Classic on April 10, 2010 and then the Great North competition on May 15, 2010. This was the first time I had ever done two shows so close together. So not only was I preparing for one, but I had to figure out how to get my body to peak for a second time a month later.

In this panic I called Steve. We ran through what I was currently doing and what I had done for my first show, the Northern States Natural Classic October 17, 2009. I was well aware of his expertise in training and thought it was fascinating. Through the course of his training career Steve had the opportunity to train Kelly Clarkson, the LA Lakers, Kareem Abdul Jabar Jr., actor Peter Gallagher, the US ski team and LA Dodgers alumnus Jim Riggleman. He also trained Hillary Hopkins, a car accident victim whom he helped regain full mobility after doctors told her she’d never walk again. He never used his experience as a way to boast about what he did, but I enjoyed hearing about his training past because I knew he knew what he was doing and that I was working with the best.

Through our conversation Steve told me “stick to what you know” and that I was the one that knew my body the best. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for the next and not only that, what works the first time around when competing doesn’t mean replicating the plan will produce the same result.

Bodybuilders are separated into weight classes and figure competitors are separated by height classes. Each height class is associated with the letters A-F. They also have a novice and three different masters divisions (35+ 40+ and 50+).

I ended up taking second in my class at the Gopher State Classic and I took first in my class at the Great North and won the overall. I was very excited for what Steve and I accomplished and looked forward to training together in the future.

After the Great North I went out to celebrate with my sister and some friends and Steve met us for dinner. I was excited about our shared love for fitness and grew even more curious about where this possible relationship might go.

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Steve and I  May 15, 2010