encouragement
All Things For Good
My plate was full. From wedding planning, to bridal showers, pre-marriage counseling, teaching, and practice for the Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders Training Program, things were insane. The stress of it all was getting to me.
Wedding planning was overwhelming. If I wasn’t working on wedding plans, I felt the guilt of not doing enough. I’m not the typical girl whose had her whole wedding planned since she was a teenager, but my vision for what I wanted things to look like was coming to life. I chose to have the bridesmaids wear black dresses and all the flowers would be red. I wanted Steve to pick out his own suit and coordinate with his groomsmen and ushers for their suits as well. I didn’t want to be responsible for everything, so I gave him little tasks to complete. It’s all part of the strategy–divide and conquer.
Tuesday evenings I had practice for the Minnesota Vikings Cheerleader Training Program and it was intense. In the beginning of the season we had the option to weigh in before practice. We made the one time choice of choosing to weigh in and if you did, you’d be required to do so every practice. Some people might think that’s a little crazy and perhaps a bit too personal, but when your goal is to be part of an elite organization there’s always a higher standard. I never wanted to just be “good” I wanted to be excellent.
Knowing that I chose to weigh in, I did feel pressure to make healthy choices during the week and make improvements in my fitness. It was challenge for me to balance the stress of wedding planning, my workouts, and keeping up with the demands of the training program. We had one practice to learn the choreography and then we were expected to perform it well the next week. The pressure was on!
Tuesday nights at practice we kicked things off with our warm-up, running the block, which is the equivalent of a 5K. I loved the workout days because fitness was in my wheelhouse. I reveled in anything fitness related and have always been energized by a physical challenge. I love pushing myself and seeing what I’m capable of– you know, the “Eye of the Tiger” mentality.
Today was a special day because my Training Program team and I got the opportunity to perform at the Minnesota Vikings pre-game show. We had prepared for this day for weeks and had consolidated practice time with the Vikings Cheerleaders, which was inspiring. The pool of talent of the MVC was breathtaking.
We walked out on the field and in that moment, I got a small taste of what it would be like to be a Minnesota Vikings Cheerleader. I soaked in everything, taking in the panoramic view of the Metrodome. As we stood on the sideline I watched as the players warmed up. It was amazing to witness these professional athletes in their element. Their pre-game prep, their routines, the camaraderie they share and all the other facets of what goes into their game.
I’m an athlete and I have a heightened sense of awareness at sporting events. I don’t just attend games or competitions to simply watch the game, I love taking in the finer details. I have a heightened sense of appreciation for the craft. My mind began thinking about the lives of these athletes and how much dedication and sacrifice they’ve put in to be the best.
I love being around talented people—but not just the kind of people that are skilled, but the kind of people that naturally bring out the best in you simply by being in their presence. The kind of people that motivate you to go beyond being comfortable and they convince you to take a chance and tap into your God-given potential. I love those kinds of people. These same people can influence others without saying a word, which is truly a gift–and yes, I want to be the person I just described.
As I stood on the sideline, I couldn’t help but reflect on my life. I was in awe as my mind flipped through the pages of my past. The people I’ve met through the years and the roles they played in me becoming the person I had become.
Then I thought about all the choices I’d made prior to auditioning. From the initial idea to audition for the chance of becoming an MVC and then actually following through with it. So many things had to come together in order for me to experience this moment on the field.
WOW, I thought, I’m blessed!
There wasn’t just a smile on my face, but my heart was smiling too.
I was overwhelmed by God’s goodness in my life that day. His faithfulness and constant care as He’s seen me though every crazy endeavor I’d ever attempted. He cares about every single detail of my life and yours, and He’s the Creator of it all.
I’m thankful for the faith I have and the perspective it’s given me in the good and challenging times. I know that for some people finding the joy in life can be a struggle, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I struggle too.
I have moments when I don’t feel like writing because the words won’t come or I feel like what I just wrote won’t encourage anyone. There are days when I just plain old don’t feel like writing. At times I would rather read, go outside or do ANYTHING but write.
I also have moments when I have to give myself a pep-talk before I speak in front of people or to convince myself go to the gym. It’s quite silly actually, given my background and my passions that I would ever struggle in these areas.
It’s in these moments that I’m reminded that every good thing comes from God. It’s only by His provision that I am able to do anything.
The same is true for you. Regardless of where you stand or how good life is right now, we all face battles. When things aren’t going so well we can fall into the trap of tunnel vision with our sight set on the bad. Other days we wake up feeling like a complete rock-star ready to tackle the day.
My challenge to you is to have tunnel vision for the good. Find the golden nugget in your situation. Choose to focus on the things you are grateful for in every situation and thank God for it. Praise Him for it AND tell others about it! When grateful words roll off your tongue, your focus will start to change and you can’t help but feel joy in your heart.
What you’re going through is refining you for God’s greater purpose. His Word says:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Things may not necessarily be “good” right now, but hold on to your love for God and His love for you and know that He’s working things out for your good.
We had an exhilarating performance that day, but that day pales in comparison to what was to come…
In All Things, God Works for the Good of Those Who Love Him
Steve and I continued to spend time together. I couldn’t help but feel the weight of this decision on my shoulders both when we were together and apart. It was always on my mind.
We had more conversations about the whole situation and God continued to work in my heart. This wasn’t going to be easy. I was battling the hurt in my heart and the jealousy of what this woman took from me, and what Steve chose to give away.
“So, how or when are we going to tell my parents?” I asked.
“Ash, I want to be the one to tell them. This was a decision that I made and it shouldn’t be your responsibility to tell them.”
I was relieved. I had no idea how I’d even attempt to explain this one. My heart melted because he knew what all of this was doing to me, and he really manned-up.
In all my praying I never felt that I was supposed to leave Steve. There was something about him that made me want to stay. I tried to view this situation through the eyes of Jesus, because I know that He’s smarter than I am.
Romans 8:28
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
There had to be something good that would come from this mess. A child, for one, is always a blessing; a true gift and miracle from God. There had to be more that God was trying to do in this situation, but I didn’t know what.
It would have been a totally different ball game if Steve were running away from the situation and the responsibilities that came with it. I wouldn’t have been around for that train wreck. Maybe God was trying to get Steve to grow up or get his attention?
He embraced the situation and he was excited to be a dad, and not only that, he was having a boy! He was so excited to be having a little “dude.”
I really struggled with the balance of being supportive and my own feelings. I tried to mask this struggle, but there was a lot going on in my head and in my heart. I tried my best to be encouraging even if it stung.
Our friends Rod and Dee decided to host a baby shower for Steve on June 27, 2010. I was so grateful that Steve had such great friends who were so supportive of him.
It was difficult to be the woman in Steve’s life that he cared about, but yet not be part of the baby shower. Instead, the woman who was carrying his child would be there. (I haven’t decided if I want to include her name).
Steve would soon be experiencing one of the most important events in his life mid July, but I wouldn’t be there to experience it with him.
Instead, I’d be sitting on the sidelines…benched.
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